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You have the right to remain silent while you’re mirin these gains.
Cops have been in the news a lot lately. Sometimes, it’s for maiming innocent civilians, other times it’s for being huge and taking a lot of selfies like NY Deputy Sheriff Miguel Pimentel pictured below who because internet famous this week. Over in Albuquerque, however, it’s all bad news for buff cops…


Several lawsuits over the years have called-out officers of the Albuquerque Police Department for steroid use, which may have prompted the city to implement these upcoming changes…
Currently, officers in New Mexico are tested for drugs like cocaine, opiates, and marijuana. A new drug-testing policy will now add over 50 forms of steroids to the list. This aggressive new drug-testing policy aims to address frequent complaints of excessive force used by the Albuquerque police force. Maybe they should change the name to the Albuquerque Police Pacifists if that’s what they’re after.

This initiative comes after the city of Albuquerque signed an agreement with the Department of Justice in order to lower the instances of excessive force, and is just one of the measures that are planned to reign-in one of the more aggressive police forces in the country. Presumably, the idea is that having a bunch of raging juiceheads running around with power, guns, and heroic levels of testosterone not be the best way to portray that kinder, gentler image that the city is going for.

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Would you rather have a police force filled with doughy guys waiting out their pension, or a squadron of genetically-enhanced freaks running around fighting crime like we’re living in a comic book? Don’t answer yet – let Ronnie answer for you.

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“We’re against utilizing any illegal substance,” said Shaun Willoughby, the vice president of the Albuquerque Police Officers Association. “We’re in support of testing for any illegal substance the city wants to test for.”

On the other hand, it’s never a good idea to encourage police officers to do things that are illegal for anyone else to do – but can’t we look the other way every now and then? Especially if it means a police force that roams the streets from gym to gym, issuing citations for un-racked weights and arresting people for curling in the squat racks.


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